By the shores..
Author Archives: Sonoran Conservative
You can’t fix stupid

Schmalfeldt is throwing a tantrum of his defeat in North Carolina where Judge Brown found that he made unlawful contact to Sarah Palmer and was subsequently given a No Contact Order for Stalking. Continue reading
Rule 5: Saturday
Sexy Saturday…
Pro Se Decision Making
A certain Pro Se Plaintiff is trying to sue everyone in the US District Court in Florence, South Carolina. Recent events have gotten me to try and understand the thought process that is going on inside this man’s brain: Continue reading
Stupid and Quicksand don’t mix.

In the movie “The Replacements”, Coach Ginty asked the players in a meeting to discuss their fears. The players, all replacements on a professional football team, were still learning how to come together as a team. The discussion started as fears of spiders and bees. Then, quarterback Shane Falco said “Quicksand.” After a bit of confusion from Franklin, he explains it like this: Continue reading
Rule 5: Friday
Canyon Flowers
Ways in which to ruin your case as a Pro Se Plaintiff: Pro Tip #38 (Updated)
Today, in real life court, Magistrate Kaymani West gave Bill Schmalfeldt what he wanted: Granting his motion for a Second Amended Complaint.
Yesterday, on his Pro Se Away Blog, Schmalfeldt was touting how his new Second Amended Complaint was fortified with new armour since he added the Does, Roes and Poes. And because it mirrored a complaint filing by John Hoge’s attorney, this was absolutely a slam dunk case and everyone is going to pay. Continue reading
Rule 5: Thursday
A little shopping on a bike
Pro Se Follies
Over on the Pro Se Away blog by the hapless Bill Schmalfeldt, he has decided that since his fatally flawed Second Amendment Complaint contains similarities to a complaint filed by John Hoge’s Pro Bono lawyer that his complaint meets the rigorous standards that will guarantee him success.
In other words, defendants should start hiding the wives, children and assets offshore because he’s coming for you!
Note: This is a really long and technical article with lots of legalese for potential Pro Se Plaintiffs.
Let’s fisk his claims.
A Day in the life of a Magistrate ..
With apologies to those with sensitive constitutions –
A Magistrate walks into their office and sees a post it note to review an amended complaint from a Pro-Se representing himself..