Yesterday, on the Trumphumpers,  Bill Schmalfeldt made the following statement.

That was 4 months ago, before I was no longer able to drive, before I lost 14% of my body weight, mostly muscle, when I thought I could still do that sort of thing. What you fucksticks have trouble understanding is that because something is true today, does not mean it’s going to be four months from now, especially with a progressive illness like Parkinson’s disease. I felt great in February or March whenever I posted that. Now, I have trouble sitting in a chair for ten minutes without having to go lay down. Things change.

Let me get this straight:

In 2011-2014, you were in Stage 4 and made a claim you had actually hit Stage 5 with this very progressive disease.  You were essentially invalid, could not drive and needed round the clock care.

When you moved to Wisconsin, you got better, so much so, the disease regressed to essentially Stage I.  Almost cured!

And now, in your own words, you claim four months ago you were feeling great and could drive.  Now you’re back to Stage 3/4/93725 Parkinson’s.

Got it.

In case anyone is wondering how to figure out what “stage” you’re supposed to be in, here’s a simple guide from WebMD on the “progression” of the disease:

Parkinson’s disease stages include:

Stage one: During this initial phase of the disease, a person usually experiences mild symptoms, such as tremors or shaking in a limb. During this stage, friends and family can usually detect changes caused by Parkinson’s, such as poor posture, loss of balance, and abnormal facial expressions.

Stage two: In the second stage of Parkinson’s disease, the person’s symptoms are bilateral, affecting both limbs and both sides of the body. The person usually encounters problems walking or maintaining balance, and the inability to complete normal physical tasks becomes more apparent.

Stage three: Stage three symptoms of Parkinson’s disease can be rather severe and include the inability to walk straight or to stand. There is a noticeable slowing of physical movements in stage three.

Stage four: This stage of the disease is accompanied by severe symptoms of Parkinson’s. Walking may still occur, but it is often limited, and rigidity and bradykinesia — a slowing of movement — are often visible. During this stage, most patients are unable to complete day-to-day tasks, and usually cannot live on their own. The tremors or shakiness of the earlier stages of the disease, however, may lessen or become non-existent for unknown reasons during this time.

Stage five:  In the last or final stage of Parkinson’s disease, the person is usually unable to take care of himself or herself and may not be able to stand or walk. A person at stage five usually requires constant one-on-one nursing care.

I don’t know about anyone else, but it seems like Bill might be some kind of walking miracle.

Or he’s faking it.

Tick Tock.

42 thoughts on “Hmmm…

  1. Are facial rashes that don’t go away, combined with massive weight loss, symptoms of Parkinson’s?

    If i’m not mistaken, the last time Rosa Parkinson’s mentioned seeing a doctor was a couple of months after fleeing to Wisconsin, and I don’t recall that being a neurologist. Nothing since.

    On the other hand, who can doubt the ability of a guy who barely graduated high school to self-diagnose a complex neurological disorder? After all, his portrayal of House, MD worked out so well for Gail.

    Oh. Wait.

    I’m pretty sure that progressive neurological conditions don’t get progressively worse, then progressively better, then progressively worse again. Generally speaking, that’s not what “progressive” means in a medical context.

    Don’t get me wrong, I hope the Diminished Capacity Kid has Parkinson’s, and I hope it fucking hurts. He’s just not giving me a lot of reasons to believe him.

    Liked by 9 people

  2. The medical community needs to know about this excellent progress.

    Wouldn’t plaintiffs and defendants in these 2 court cases feel a need to ask a judge to require that Bill submit a doctor’s note regarding his present condition?

    No, not a legal note from years back which identified why he was separated from employment. An up to date diagnosis. Some documentation saying “I’ve treated Bill Schmalfeldt for X number of months, and found these symptoms, which are typical of Parkinson’s…”

    I would not even suggest this, if he had not made this an issue. But it is quite an issue now. As the lawyers say “Oopsie Poopsie.”

    Home. Long weekend.

    Liked by 10 people

    • If a DUMBFUCK could craft a lulzsuit that isn’t immediately dismissed by either himself or the court or shitcanned by welfare lawyers, I suspect that would very much be an issue.

      Oliver Wendell Jones takes it on faith that a court will just take his word about his condition, which isn’t how these things work in a libel suit. He would necessarily have to prove his condition in order to establish a case, which he won’t. Then he would have to establish damages, which he can’t.

      Sure, Schmaleldt thinks affidavits will suffice, but he’s an idiot. The defendants can’t cross-examine an affidavit. But they very much can introduce his own writings on the subjects (specifically that Parkinson’s never gets better, he requires constant care, and that he will never again drive or have sex, and compare them with his antics over the last year or so.

      For a libel claim to be successful, a plaintiff must establish that the assertions at issue are knowingly false, which shithead has made impossible. People of goodwill can be forgiven for doubting his medical claims based entirely on his own public statements, including several in his own previous lulzsuits.

      Liked by 9 people

    • Oh man! Wish you hadn’t educated the monkey. But he’s likely thought of it already so lemme’ ‘splain to you all what’s coming up in August.

      He WILL have a doctors note before August. By hook, by crook or by inattentive (and injudicious) medical staff. Right now he’s contemplating how to get documentation for the least amount of money required… The note will say, “Can’t travel.” Pinkie Pie, his caregiver, will provide detailed independent confirmation.


      IF I were John I’d get a motion in front of the judge documenting everything all of you have pointed out. The photos, the car, the multiple trips, the gofundme and whatever else. Seek affidavits with respect to physical condition from the house renters in IA too. And from the ‘free lawyer’. Include as references all the material Bill himself has published.

      What? It’s not appropriate to submit a motion? That’s ok; just get it front of the judge and let him punt it to the moon. AFTER reading it. Looking for education here and not so much a victory. The judge needs to have some idea of Bill’s history in order to understand how he’s being played on the next round of, “I need to just call this one in.”

      Guys, Schmalfeldt has telegraphed what he’s going to do. For all those I owe money to because Bill didn’t show this week, know two things:

      1. Check is in the mail (or being wired to your accounts in the Cayman’s (which covers most of you))
      2. I’ll go double or nothing that he uses a medical angle to skip out on August.

      The Judge needs to be educated so he has perspective when the time comes.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Oh. And one more thing-

        Hey Bill! I’ll give you $100 for the shot up B-17. I’ll take it off your hands, for scrap, if you haven’t already spaced it.

        Send your address to Krendler and he’ll connect with me. I’ll send you a cashiers check.


        Liked by 2 people

      • Probably too little, too late, at least as far as contempt goes,

        Flophouse, MD self-diagnosed (again) and threatened a sitting judge before getting any documentation of his condition, so whatever he does after yesterday is moot,

        Furthermore, it’s more than likely that the court would want an independent examination from a Maryland doctor before he decides to humor anything from the Diminished Capacity Kid on this issue.

        Liked by 5 people

      • Forgive my being obnoxious (please-) but-

        You seem to forget ‘But Maryland-”

        Schmalfeldt WILL document a medical excuse for no-show. GahRaunTeed. Hecker will acquiesce and grant no-show.

        The Show Goes On. Hopefully in John’s favor-

        I assume there will be no penalty for the first no-show other than a stern admonishment from Hecker. Yeah. That’s the ticket.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. On another note, I wonder how a DUMBFUCK thinks thta he will be able to sit through a trial in Florence any more easily than he would in Westminster? It’s a stretch to think that the federal court is going to let him conduct his case by Skype from his flophouse.

    Not that it matters. It’ll never get anywhere near a trial. But it’s something that Judge Hecker might have questions about in August.

    Liked by 6 people

    • If my math is right, a recess for the plaintiff to take a nap every ten minutes will make what would probably a three day trial in South Carolina approximately six years long.

      If I were a defendant in Lulzsuit VXX, that’s the kind of thing that I would include in a Motion to Dismiss. After all, Schmaleldt has publicly threatened to sue a Maryland judge precisely because sitting through a trial would be an undue burden.

      Parkinson’s isn’t the only thing that impairs executive functioning. Stupidity does a pretty thorough job of it, too.

      Liked by 6 people

      • My husband snickered when I told him why I was snickering.

        I got a kick out of misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon; the two concepts, “misdemeanor” and “AWADW” just don’t seem to go together. Under the circumstances, I’d be surprised if they do more than some sort of probation. As my husband said, dude was asking for it, and I suspect you’d have trouble finding a jury to convict her. Every potential juror is watching that video and thinking “You go, girl!”.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. His self-published Scype video shows belies his claims altogether. Forget for a minute his proud over share of his half-naked form playing twister with gravity, and his doofusey before and after in my joke t-shirt shots. IN the video he is talking, emoting, and gesturing in ways completely inconsistent with his claims.
    He displays no bradykinesia or outward sign of stiffness or ratcheted movements. His face is flexible enough to express a range of emotions, with subtlety. he seems to be sober for once and shed his podcast slurring…he is vocalizing as crisply as I have ever heard him, and there is no wobbly volume. he never hesitates or freezes. just watch him whip his glasses off, reach for papers without a conscious care, raise his arms swiftly and with ease from paper to mouth. if he spends some time gawp mouthed as he listens, he smirks, arches, furrows and frowns like he was paid to do it. Without pretending to diagnose him, the Bill he showed isn’t the Bill he talks about.
    He doesn’t walk in the video, but he does not appear to tire in his chair; in my subjective appraisal, he appears invigorated by the experience.
    I’ve since learned,by report, he’s been moving around wll enough down in the little cluster of businesses that surround the place. I haven’t seen myself but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s not been so helpless as he claims.

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Also, his redshirt videos were posted at the very tag end of March, about a week before he made the scram to SC for good, (leaving a pet cat for others to find.)

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Pardon me but I do not read or listen to Witless Willie’s stuff. So trumphumpers has me confused. Is Willie now fantasizing about humping Trump? Well if that’s what floats his boat, it’s a not a problem for me, but maybe soneone should alert the Secret Service.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I have no trouble accepting he has a gammy knee and fatness, and a drunkard’s brain, with pre-existing deficits. He’s had weird issues with authority and fakery since forever, and probably some disordered deviancy driving his behavior. I don’t think any physician could look at his latest self-published candid video portrait and label anything in it as a visible sign of Parkinson’s.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Well. I have zero medical knowledge (though my daughter did play a nurse in a school play) so I cannot assess whether Willie has Parkinson’s or not.

    Nor do I listen to or read his bltherings, but someone petitely avian told me that: (1) Willie’s shrinkage in adipose tissue allowed him to glimpse his penis recently for the first ime in decades, (2) he soaped it up to clean it now that he was reminded he had it, and (3) he saw it respond as he played with it.

    Can anyone confirm these non-human rumors?

    Now assuming these depressing rumors are true, does this mean that his previously rumored sexual dysfunctions had no physiological etiology but rather were merely a physical limitation imposed by decades of encrusted debris and dirt?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. My mother succumbed to the ravages of Parkinson’s, I took care of patients who had Parkinson’s …I don’t know what Bill has but it’s not Parkinson’s.

    Liked by 2 people

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