The King of Stupid, Prince of Dumbfuckery, Ruler of the Seven Realms of Farts, Bill Schmalfeldt, is off on a tirade about the No Contact Order for Stalking Or Non Consensual Sexual Conduct he received from Sarah Palmer, a person he wants to sue because his butthurt blisters are really itchy.

In today’s podcast of Trumphumpers, Bill excoriates Ms. Palmer for her perjurious filing back in December 2015.  In it, his Royal Ass of Boils asserts that Ms. Palmer LIED on her application of where she lived, and because of this, she violated some tort of perjury.

Setting aside for the moment that the purpose of the No Contact Order for Stalking is to PREVENT the perpetrator from harassing the victim, and that an alternate address can be used in the petition, Bill believes he deserves an answer because it is his RIGHT TO KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES, OTHERWISE THIS VIOLATES HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS (or something)!

Let’s review some commentary he left on his hardly read website:

I have directly asked Sarah, via e-mail, Twitter, telephone, to just say WHEN she moved from Reidsville in Rockingham County to Greensboro in Guilford County.

Hey!  Anyone with an IQ of 10 can answer this:  (ahem) *slight microphone feedback*

She petitioned and was granted an order that states you are not to contact her in any way.  Failure to do so would be considered possible civil or criminal contempt.  

In other words, she doesn’t have to tell you anything.  No one has to tell you a damn thing.  You are owed nothing from any person.  Go stick that on your boils, asshole.

I’m certain the stupidity is quite thick in his dented skull and didn’t go through, but I tried.

Now, try not to laugh too much here..

If my information is correct, and only Sarah can prove it is INcorrect, she lied under oath to a court of law and will have to pay the price for that. That will not be up to me. That will be up to law enforcement.

But this will CERTAINLY be used as evidence about the dishonesty of this miserable woman who has been defaming me on a nearly daily basis for years.

It is in Sarah’s best interest to clear this up, and quickly, because my next call will be to the Rockingham and Guilford County district attorneys.

Sarah’s best interest, huh?  You think she will get a visit from law enforcement? You think she’s going to pay a price?

Let me get this straight:  You think you’re going to go to the District Attorney and explain, “I was stalking Sarah Palmer and she filed this action against me a year ago and won and she was LYING about where she lived.”

You may not use those words, Billy, but that’s exactly how it’s going to be interpreted.  And I would imagine that if the DA were to take your call and (for the moment, not laugh you off the phone) you’re going to convince him that some law was broken?

The stalker is going to claim the petitioner was lying about where she lived. To the District Attorney.  The person who prosecutes stalkers.

Right.

As my friend Morgan Freeman would say..