I’m taking a test.

giphy1

I need you all to check my work.

This isn’t for me. I already took the test and am in the “Congrats, you made the grade” category as I’m sure is the same for most male readers of the blog.  I’m taking it for Bill Schmalfeldt.

Mr. Overshare has said many things.  More than half are lies but those don’t work in his favor either.

The questions seem legit so we will assume this is a good scientific test.  And even if it’s not scientific, it’s just fun.

1) Are you more of a leader or a follower? Have you taken a group of people somewhere, even if it’s out to dinner? Are there people looking to you when it’s time to make a decision?

A) Leader
B) Follower

He claims to have Stage IV Parkinson’s Disease and needs to lay down every ten minutes.  Of course, this varies significantly depending on if there is an active lawsuit on the books.  The question though is easily answered when you consider the phrase “group of people”.  There is no evidence that he has been a leader of any group nor evidence that if people were forced to be in a group with him they would listen or follow him.

Answer: B.

2) Do you prefer to let other people make choices for you? Do you have trouble making decisions? Would you feel uncomfortable making a decision that could have big consequences for your life?

A) No
B) Yes

If the choice is to lie, then the answer is no  He does that a lot.

Answer: A

3) Have you ever owned your own business, coached a team or at least been a manager with responsibility for multiple employees?

A) Yes
B) No

There is lack of evidence to substantiate one or more conditions. Just because he puts a donation button on a website doesn’t make him a business.

Answer: B

4) Have you ever been in a job where you may have to be violent or alternately make life and death decisions? Solider, cop, fireman, bouncer, UFC fighter, pro-football player, etc.?

A) Yes
B) No

The technicality here is “soldier”.  He certainly enlisted in the Navy.  There is no real evidence that he ever put his life on the line or had to make a life and death decision unless it was not to eat for a whole day.  He has stated without any evidence that he is usually the last man standing in a bar fight. That doesn’t make him a bouncer.

Answer: B

5) Do you feel comfortable handling a gun?

A) Yes
B) No

He’s a progressive, so the answer is obvious.

Answer: B

6) Would friends, family members, and girlfriends generally agree that the words “manly” or “masculine” describe you?

A) Yes
B) No

This can be a trick question so I’ll qualify it with an assumption of intent:  if these people are not under the influence of a hallucinogen?

Answer B

7) Do you take care of yourself? In other words, you’re not a beggar, you’re not taking government or charitable assistance and you’re not sleeping in your parents’ basement?

A) Yes
B) No

It’s an OR condition statement, meaning any condition that is satisfied results in a true response.  In this case answer B would be the true condition.

Answer: B

8) Are you assertive? Are you comfortable with saying “no” if you don’t want to do something? Are you willing to speak up if you feel like you’re being mistreated or not getting what you deserve?

A) Yes
B) No

Is he assertive as a victim?  Yes.

Answer:  A

9) Have you ever performed in front of a crowd in your adult life? As an athlete, a musician, a speaker, a debater or anything similar?

A) Yes
B) No

He once ran a failed campaign for local public office, so it’s possible he held a debate in front of a handful of constituents. However, there is evidence to support that he ever spoke to a public or private crowd.  He may have been an announcer at some event at NIH, so we’ll assume at least one display of PLM.

Answer:  A

10) Deep down in your gut, do you think any of these words describe you as a person? Weak, desperate, a victim, incompetent, emasculated, afraid, timid, insecure?

A) No
B) Yes

Answer: B.

11) Are you at least 6 feet tall or alternately, do you bench 225 or squat or deadlift 315?

A) Yes
B) No

Answer: B

12) Do women regularly describe you as nice, sweet, and polite and a good friend?

A) No
B) Yes

Answer: A

13) Have you successfully negotiated a significant raise above and beyond what you would get normally, talked a creditor into cutting at least hundreds of dollars off a bill or negotiated someone down by thousands on a big purchase (not including at a car dealership)?

A) Yes
B) No

There is no evidence that Bill has managed to be in a position to do any of these things.

Answer: B

14) Do you have an active social life? Do you have a group of guys you go out and do things with? Are you someone people would call to find out what’s going on this weekend? Have you asked out multiple women in person in your adult life (assuming you didn’t get married early)?

A) Yes
B) No

The last question about asking out multiple women needs clarification: “with at least a few who say yes and don’t run away after the first 15 minutes of a date.”

Answer: B

15) Do you like being the center of attention and star of the show or do you prefer to fade into the background?

A) Center of attention
B) Fade into the background

As a victim, it’s important that he “try” to be the center of attention.  Assuming people will stick around long enough to let him have the floor.

Answer: A

16) Have you ever been “the best, ‘world class’” or at least exceptionally good at anything in your adult life where you had to compete with a significant number of talented people? Have you won a race? Been a significant contributor on a championship team? Are you a world-class chef, skateboarder, mogul or scientist?

A) Yes
B) No

This assumes he doesn’t get fired first.

Answer: B

17) Are you comfortable with conflict? Can you take someone you like being mad at you? Could you have someone yell at you without it ruining your night? Are you okay with talking to someone who is angry with you?

A) Yes
B) No

This one is a little bit tougher because the effects of butthurt on Bill swing wildly like an out of control pendulum.  He does enjoy making others angry.

Answer: A

18) Can you handle yourself in a physical confrontation with another man? If you answer “yes,” why is that? Are you bigger and stronger than most other guys? Have you done martial arts? Have you been in a lot of fights? If the answer is just “I think I’d do great” without anything to back it up, answer “no.”

A) Yes
B) No

He’s a coward.  He ran away from a Patrick Grady.  He invites others to confrontation but doesn’t share where to meet. Lastly, he has Parkinson’s Disease and regularly loses to furniture and the floor.

Answer: B

19) Could you fairly be described as “sensitive,” a “male feminist” or “emotional?”

A) No
B) Yes

He would like to think he’s sensitive, a male feminist and emotion. Judges will give it to him as a progressive.

Answer: B

20) Are you someone who could be trusted to “handle it”? Someone is breaking into your house and the police are 20 minutes away, your car breaks down on a deserted road or a relative just died and you need to take care of the funeral. Could you take care of it and take care of it well?

A) Yes
B) No

Answer: B

How to score:

1-5 A answers: I see that you let your little girl fill out the questions for you.

6-10 A answers: Sorry, but you’re definitely a beta.

11-15 A answers: With a little work, you can get over the hump.

16-20 A answers: Congrats, you made the grade as an Alpha.

Score: 6

Conclusion:  Beta, for sure, and at the very bottom of the score.  And a very generous score at that.

Feel free to check my work.

10 thoughts on “I’m taking a test.

  1. I have to quibble with the answer to question 2.
    2) Do you prefer to let other people make choices for you? Do you have trouble making decisions? Would you feel uncomfortable making a decision that could have big consequences for your life?

    First, it’s not one question; it’s three.

    A. Does he prefer to let other people make choices for him?

    Well, it is plain from his history of excuses for his cyberterror campaigns of harassment and stalking that he lets other people make decisions for him – how many times has he been FORCED BY SOMEONE ELSE to dox, harass and call employers?

    So the answer here would seem to be YES.

    B. Does he have trouble making decisions?

    Once a decision is made, or more to the point, FORCED UPON HIM, he certainly embraces it with perverse glee. As far as making a decision for himself, as long as it involves second helpings, cigars, brown liquor or telling a lie when the truth will do the job, he seems to have no trouble whatsoever.

    So in this case, the answer would be NO.

    C. Would he feel uncomfortable making a decision that could have big consequences for his life?

    The answer here is an obvious and resounding NO. Not because he is decisive or confident, but rather because nothing he does has any consequences, big or otherwise, on his life. It’s ALWAYS someone else’s fault!

    So – a YES and two NOs. I think you have to change that answer and the final score from 6 to 7.

    It doesn’t move the slimy pussy into another category, but it is more accurate. And that’s important to some people.

    Not him…but some people.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Gotta quibble with #5. He is comfortable handling a gun, specifically an AR-15. This was back in the trailer park in Maryland.

    Competent? Not so much, based on a weak hold, pointed at the wall of his trailer (and probably the wall of someone else’s trailer, funny how that works…), finger on the trigger, and a shit eating grin.

    I’m sorry, should that be a shit-smelling grin in this case? I denounce myself…

    Liked by 3 people

      • Gun in hand, magazine in gun, no idea on bullets, but I suspect that puts us on an even footing with Bill Schmalfeldt, wow, what a low place to be…

        If it’s in bang mode, and no reason to think “playing with” does not involve bang mode, then the position of what in anyone else I would call the “boogerhook” on the “bang switch” is not OK.

        Add to this the intellectual capabilities of William Schmalfeldt, winner of no less than (but way more than, depends on the math) 10 orders of protection, including one for a toddler.

        Who nearly appeared on air in Iowa. Who closely missed a newspaper gig in the Dakotas (though, calling it “home” he may have been scared off by the snow.)

        And who personally wet himself at the Serving of Hoge’s Summons.

        Liked by 4 people

  3. And I will speak up for Q6:

    6) Would friends, family members, and girlfriends generally agree that the words “manly” or “masculine” describe you?

    To even give an answer to this question, do we not have to prove a) that friends, family members and girlfriends are not imaginary, b) that they have met, and c) that Bill’s lack of masculinity (outside the presence of Cub Scouts, that is) has been a topic of conversation?

    Dubious.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s