Over at Hogewash!, John Hoge shares the filing submitted by the defendants to the court in LOLSuit VIII.
Reading the filing, I have a few observations..
Mr. Nettles wastes no time bringing to the court’s attention that this is a classic SLAPP suit and its sole purpose is to shut people up. Schmalfeldt doesn’t like what the defendant’s write and he thinks that what they say is harmful, despite never showing why.
Next he proceeds to take care of the jurisdictional issues. None of the defendants are in South Carolina, and Schmalfeldt has shown no harm to him as a result of his short time there. This is the reason none of Schmalfeldt’s suits have managed to make it past the motions round, and Mr. Nettles makes sure the courts see his past behavior and the dismal results.
Then, the hilarity begins. Mr. Nettles asks the court to strike all the scandalous and impertinent comments made by Schmalfeldt out of his complaint. For example:
From Paragraph 2 of the Complaint the words “He has described himself online as a bipolar “functioning sociopath.’ ” and the words “He is divorced and estranged from his ex-wife and son, a fact he blames on Schmalfeldt”.
None of that has any bearing on his complaint. Schmalfeldt is using statements intended to bias a court which is against the rules. It also includes statements he claims bolster his jurisdictional issues:
From Paragraph 9 of the Complaint the words:
“Because of the many years of libelous publications, including directives to “Google Bill Schmalfeldt,” it is understandable that South Carolina landlords would refuse to rent an apartment to the Plaintiff Thus, due in large part to the libelous and reckless activities of the Defendants, South Carolina landlords have been deprived of the income they would make from a law-abiding renter. Thus aiming their blogs and comments at South Carolina landlords, all four defendants have purposefully availed themselves with South Carolina contacts and have caused harm to forum state residents other than the Plaintiff and his future wife.”
The next item on the list: A motion to get Schmalfeldt to actually make a claim with specifics after he became a resident of South Carolina since he’s relying on the state’s long arm statute.
In other words, if you’re going to file a lawsuit over butthurt in South Carolina, you should at least explain when the boils started itching and burning and what caused them.
And finally, a motion to dismiss the suit for failure to state a claim in the first place.
This leaves the court with some decisions to make in terms of what it should do. Will it grant motions for Schmalfeldt to modify his suit and bring it in line with rules; or will the court wait to see Schmalfeldt’s opposition and then decide to just end it by granting the Motion to Dismiss for Jurisdiction and/or failure to state a claim?
I’ll say this: It was very direct and to the point. There are a lot of problems with Schmalfeldt’s complaint and the attorney wasted no time getting right to issues and giving the court an easy out. The next step is for Schmalfeldt to file an opposition which means, this is going to get incredibly funny.
Grab some popcorn and get a good seat. The show is about to begin.