So this happened…

Warning:  This post may contain serious lulz.  If you laugh for more than four hours, seek medical attention.


Bill Schmalfeldt has the sadz.   On Wednesday, at 8:45 am in Westminster, Maryland, he is to appear before Judge Hecker for breaking the rules in recording his testimony when he appeared via Skype.

He believes that because he has “Parkinson’s” (and there is serious doubt that he has), it prevents him from having to travel for long periods of time.

Nevermind that there is documented evidence from him in his own words and pictures,  that he drove from Clinton, Iowa, to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, (around 1000 miles ONE WAY) TWICE.  He was very happy to be with the love of his life (#4).

Nevermind that he has moved TWICE – from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Clinton, Iowa (186 miles), and from Clinton, Iowa to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina in which he drove himself within the last six months.

It was only in 2013, he was telling the world that appearing before a Judge at a Peace Order hearing in Maryland, that his condition could end up killing him if he slipped and fell on the ice.  No really.

He’s known about this for well over a month.

And his complaint is, that he is unable to make the drive from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, to Westminster, Maryland (around 500 miles) because it’s too long and it would be.. too.. painful.

Bill chose to file an improper response to the petition filed by John Hoge which put him in this mess to begin with.  The Judge, obviously, did not respond.  Bill now wants to assert that even though the Judge has ordered him to appear in person, that he’s had over five weeks to plan to ensure he arrives on time, the judge is .. (starting to laugh here.. one sec…)





The JUDGE is violating his civil rights as a disabled person.

(gasp.. gasp.. AIR!  I NEED AIR AND SOME NEW LULZ MUSCLES!!  *medic*)

And let’s not forget that the Judge knows he’s moved because he’s had to file a change of address with the court.  Bill is also not employed, so it’s not like he has any pressing reason to not plan ahead.

So, if I were a judge and I were to hear this sad, somber story, knowing the facts as they are, what questions do you think a smart, intelligent person would know to ask?

Once the Judge composes himself, he most likely would ask Bill:

“You have known about this for well over a month.  You had plenty of options to figure out how to get here.  Why did you not think to plan your trip so that you could accomodate your condition?”

Bill’s reading of the ACA thinks that his situation is covered.  Just like he thinks his interpretation of the libel per se/defamation per se will get him a win against, well, anyone for talking about him.

Clearly, Bill thinks he’s got a case against the Judge.  Uh huh.

BTW:  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE foresaw this coming.  He didn’t disappoint.

Update:  In Bill’s podcast, he is making the case to sue the Judge. No, seriously!  He is actually going to sue if the Judge doesn’t rule on his improper motion and has him arrested.

I can’t.. stop… laughing…

Update 2:  Paul Krendler demonstrates how certain.. Fake Parkinson’s affected individuals (aka DUMBFUCKS) can have an ADA compliant trip.

*still laughing ..

Update 3:  TDPZ is killing the lulz muscles here.   The Artisan Craft Blog weighs in here and may need medical attention for the lulz…

44 thoughts on “So this happened…

  1. I just can’t even with This Guy. He has gone and out-dumbfucked himself. It’s brilliant! Utterly brilliant! Get given more than a month’s notice = violating the ADA when it actually comes time to show up. It’s SPECTACULAR!

    I am so very, very glad this is happening to Bill. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

    Liked by 9 people

      • As a disabled person myself I find this whole thing outrageously hilarious. You know what is bizarre, if he was really standing up for the disabled, he would have chastised @NicoleBonnet1 and Thomas A Mix the #VeroBeachCrybully when they posted a flashing GIF that put me in the ER. In fact they posted Flashing GIFs to cause me harm a half a dozen times. Not a peep from the disability crusader!

        What a freakin poser

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Bench


    Bill, you are done, especially if someone (could be Roy or WJJH or MJ or about 20 other people for the LULZ) puts skip tracers on your corpulent ass and report your actual location to the courts.

    Stand and face the music on the 28th like an adult for the first time in your life. Running away will only make matters worse.

    Liked by 5 people

    • If he had no leg to stand on he might have a reason to not want to go. But he has two good legs to stand on as witnessed by his videos of his long walks without wheelchair or rolly walker or his cherished fat cart (it was red VROOM VROOM)

      *Yes I know you were using a common phrase. I just played on it. Bill don’t get all excited that someone on the internet was wrong.

      Liked by 4 people

      • I’m on the verge of actually really truly losing a leg. [Orthopedic surgeon appointment pending.] And that would still leave me one to stand on… only metaphorically, though… y’know, because of the whole wheelchair thing.

        And guess what? It’s no excuse for not showing up if ordered by the Court.

        One leg, in a wheelchair? They can accommodate that. Deal with it, Shakes.

        Liked by 4 people

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  4. In a long and storied career of hilariously spectacular fuck-ups, this might be the Diminished Capacity Kid’s most spectacular one yet.

    God, I can’t wait until Wednesday.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Isn’t this hearing about his contempt of court in recording the last hearing? Fatass thinks he has some sort of “escape” in that he didn’t record the actual court room… except…

    Rule 506, Fatass. “Proceedings”, not “court room”.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Dang, I wish I could be there. But I’ll be dealing with the medical establishment over real disabilities the next morning and can’t take the time.

    The Adulterous Unca Biwwy is NOT disabled. His alleged “Parkinson’s” has gone into remission several times, only coming back when needed to try to save his ass from legal problems that he himself caused.

    Unlike Adulterous Unca Biwwy I’ve got a real physical disability, and the state issued blue parking placard to prove it. If I had FIVE WEEKS notice of needing to be somewhere 500 miles away, I’d be able to make the arrangements and get myself there with no problems at all. If I had been planning on driving and then my knee or back decided to act up worse than usual, I have friends who would be willing to take the time to help me get there.

    So, yeah, no sympathy at all here.

    Liked by 7 people

    • That’s the thing. I don’t think Bill takes any of this seriously. He seems to think that the Judge somehow has to accommodate his contrived disabilities whether the Judge likes it or not.

      If Bill thinks he can sue the State of Maryland and Judge Hecker, I say “Go for it!” This latest episode has gotten me to take my lulz limbering exercises seriously. Wednesday could be the roughest day for them yet. If his podcast is any indication, it’s only going to be worse.

      Liked by 6 people

      • He doesn’t think there will be consequences because, up to now, there haven’t been any. BK got Aaron Walker arrested on false charges and got off scott-free. BK and allies have dicked around with service all over the place, up to and including forgery, and have not been penalized once. It wouldn’t surprise me if BS shows up at this hearing and shuffles away a free man because the judge will just let it slide… again.

        Why bother to comply if you never get in trouble for not?

        Liked by 5 people

  7. I guess we know what Fat Willie improperly wrote to the Judge a couple weeks ago.

    ‘Sir Judge, my name is William McFatt Schmaldeldt, Twitter Attorney at Law, and I have RULED that I will not comply with your ORDER demanding I appear in your court on June 28. Because ADA…. ‘

    Liked by 7 people

    • … and that he admitted that he didn’t send John a copy because he didn’t want to.

      I am sorry, but if I am a judge and I am looking at all this dicking around with service, “misremembered” non answers to motions, the recording of judicial proceedings to use as voice overs for his untalented music bits for his untalented podcast, and overall bullshit behavior…

      I would lock his ass up. Full stop. End of sentence.

      Liked by 4 people

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    • Well, he’s only shy by three of the Four Demandments of Hulkamania:

      Train – HA!
      Say Your Prayers – DOUBLE HA!
      Eat Your Vitamins – and MOTHERFUCKING HA!!
      Believe in Yourself – if overextending this one could make up for the other three, he’d be fine.

      Liked by 1 person

    • And after two months… STILL only at $25 bucks.

      Hey, Loser McMoobfunk… I raised over $3000 in two weeks online for an elderly lady that needed repairs for her car. Probably could have raised more but we hit the goal and stopped it.

      Big difference is that it wasn’t for me… and I threw in $800 because the lady really needed help.

      As others have stated… you are a singularity of stupid and fail.

      Stupidium, indeed…


      Liked by 4 people

  10. Pretty sure he heard that smarty people use the phrase “Dadaist” about the same time as he heard the phrase “abstract thought” and his intuition (no rational ego check in that factory that’s for sure) keeps telling him to use these phrases to show he is so much smarty. Then the same subroutine usually throws in “methinks” and I have to ice pack my six pack for a couple hours again.

    Pretty psyched for tomorrow’s events. I know he’ll proclaim that whatever way ti goes it was how he intended it to happed and is the best outcome for him and Hoge is behind it That Bastard! and anyway I ‘ve “shows up but is wearing a neck brace” in the pool, prolly sloughs a staircase or two to show his dire infirmity, hope he wears feminine hygiene product t-shirt as well.

    Liked by 4 people

  11. Isn’t this the hearing that he insisted he would only attend if Hoge paid for his travel?

    What is the over/under on him attempting to present Hoge with a bill?

    Liked by 2 people

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