Bill Schmalfeldt says he is a purveyor of satire and parody. He spends a lot of time making up bits for podcasts where poop is almost always the theme. In my research, I have discovered not a single podcast he’s produced has ever been awarded for any kind of excellence in any category. Not even a single nomination.
I’ve also noticed he writes his legal briefs with the same style and substance and, interestingly, has the same results. In fact, the most common accolades are DENY and DISMISS.
Sonoran Conservative 
There’s a line in the first Pirates movie where Will Turner explains his deftness with a sword by telling he practices some number of hours per day-
And Captain Jack’s retort is something like, “Mate, you need to go find a girlfriend.”
Which leads me to an observation of my own: Since Fat Bastard found Soulmate 4.0 he now, occasionally, goes several hours without being on the computer. In a row.
Ain’t life grand?
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I have read some of Willie’s legal writing. He is extremely lucky to have won only DISMISS and DENY. Of course, judges are supposed to show some decorum, but I keep hoping one will go for DUMBFUCK DISMISSED.
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