Life is full of surprises.
Tonight, the Virginia Cavaliers, the overall number 1 seed in the NCAA tournament, lost its opening round game in the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament to the #63 team , the University of Maryland – Baltimore County (UMBC) Retrievers, and marks the first time in 136 games that a number one seed has lost its first game.
This also marks the shortest time that 0 perfect brackets have been reached.
(note: it’s possible that “someone” still has a perfect bracket somewhere, but no one is reporting on it.)
UMCB was a twenty point underdog, something that is amazing considering that they won by that margin – a forty point swing. Anyone who placed bets on the Retrievers to win are probably counting their stack of cash and might possibly be rolling around in it.
And even though it took the 136 game to finally defeat a number one team..
Bill Schmalfeldt’s record of winning anything in life is still at zero. Every endeavor he’s managed to embark on has ended with failure.
And everyone who has been sued by him still has a perfect bracket.
Sonoran Conservative 
The Scat in the Hat
Said to his minion di smelly
The court just called
it’s on the Telly
We must leave for the west
We must leave right now
Don’t pack anything
Just go with me now
So the pungent pair
Waddled their way
To a station of misery
To get underway
To ‘fornia the yelled
At the tired old clerk
The tickets were given
With the smallest of smirks
They boarded the bus
Without the slightest care
Their odor was acrid
There were several stares
And after a fortnight
One or three
The bus came to a halt
With a brake wailing screed
Get off you two
Hit the road right now
I cannot drive further
You and your cow
So they were dumped
In A place quite quirky
In front of a motel
It was just okay dokay
It was across from a place
Where there were trucks and waffles
So they went inside
With their putrid fat shuffle
I’d like a room
For a good solid month
The clerk grew amazed
At the squalid punks
Money was swapped
For pieces of plastic
The fat gross pair
Left the clerk quite monastic
So the losers were ensconced
In another dark gloom
The trucks and the waffles
Were the same type of doom
After a day
a day and a night
The monastic clerk
Googled with fright
The name of the blob
Who lectured his nostrils
Had a serious past
Shocking and hostile
He harassed dead babies
Mothers with glee
But that wasn’t all
Their were stories of pee
12 restraining orders
For more babies glared
To get him thrown out
Any place that he dared
To show his fat face
Without such a care
And then their were stories
Of rape of small children
Of child porn
Was their sad origin
To the fat smelly pair
Of blob and his di
Wailed at the clerk
Who firmly denied
Go back to the south
Of carolina way
Because you are not welcome
You just cannot stay
They got on a bus
That opened all the windows
The way out west
Is clear for all kiddos
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LOLSUIT CXXXVI – I GOT IT KNOCKED THIS TIME!
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Promises, promises!
Laptop, home.
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