Welp.

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Imagine having $50 to throw away.

A raven came by and dropped me note. It read:

“It cost $50 to file an application. The call back never happened. There is frustration.”

Past experience tells us that a federal lawsuit will soon appear. The complaint will be a rambling of how certain people have sullied the reputation of the plaintiff on the internet. It will also mention how the plaintiff is a survivor of a incurable progressive disease, despite being in remission 10 or 12 times.

There will be lots of chatter of how the plaintiff has switched on Chief Pro-Se Prosecutor mode so as to harass innocent folks to share their whereabouts for sworn subpoena’s to be issued and compel damning testimony. Threats will be made to silence folks who dare speak of their innocence, and resulting in pointage, laughing and mockery.

Some will be accused of a great RICO conspiracy. They will be told that a judge will haul them in front of his bench to testify of great misdeeds under penalty of perjury. After all, the Prosecutor and Judge see eye to eye on how justice will be dispensed. It’s like they are one in the same, in his own mind.

And many will laugh; some will fall from their chairs howling uncontrollably. Others will need medical attention for sprained lulz muscles. Some will require emergency surgery. The carnage will be difficult to witness, but rest assured there will be survivors.

Then again, it could be that since one’s reputation is so besmirched by thine own hand, that no one will touch him with a 10 foot pole. Indeed, it’s not like this hasn’t happened before. It almost feels like deja vu all over again.

9 thoughts on “Welp.”

    • All the old monkeys are dead, except one who is being kept comfortable with all the bananas he can eat and a morphine drip.

      He suffers from the same ailment that claimed all the others – Parkinson’s disease brought on by head injuries suffered as a result of multiple falls caused by herniated hamstrings.

      Very sad. Tragic.

      Thankfully the wizards at Krendler Genetics have successfully engineered a new, improved strain of monkey DNA (code name: Schmuckfart) splicing genes from Bolshoi prima ballerinas, Olympic class deadlifters, lowland gorillas, western jackrabbits and, of course, zombies.

      Results are promising.

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